DRINKING & FLYING EDITION

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

W.C.Fields

Hello all you groovy freaks, peace, love, dove to all. Meet Senator Max Baucus from the great state of Montana. He's pictured here with his vodka tonic and what looks to be a coffee chaser. Apparently, Max was an understudy to the very late Ted Kennedy and has taken over the late senator's two favorite causes, health care and public intoxication.

Now to be fair, there are plenty of internet stories out there that old Max was drunk during the senate's "debate" over health care. There are just as many stories out there that Max wasn't drunk, that he slurs his words all the time. If you have 5 minutes and 39 seconds to waste, you be the judge.

Now here's the point. If Max was drunk during this "debate" and vote, then he should be at the very least censured by the senate if not impeached. Max is not up for re-election in 2010 and I am not sure how secure or un-secure Max's seat is, but if it's anything like Nelson's in Nebraska, he could be in some trouble in 2012 if he runs again.

IS THAT A BOMB IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

On Christmas day, a disgruntled Muslim tried to blow up a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit. (more on that later) BUT, rest assured that your TSA is on the job! Just ask the Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano.
Sec. Napolitano received a great deal of criticism in the media for stating in an interview with CNN's Candy Crowley that, "the system worked" with regard to an attempted terrorist attack on Northwest Airlines Flight 253 approaching Detroit, Michigan on Christmas Day 2009. She later went on NBC's Today Show and admitted to host Matt Lauer that the security system had indeed failed.

Because the security system failed (didn't fail in eight years of the evil George Bush) passengers are now going through some new asinine restrictions, such as not being allowed anything (even a book) on your lap during the last hour of a flight. You better hope that mother nature doesn't call during that last hour because you ain't allowed to use the potty either. Forget about doing any work during the last hour of the flight, apparently, you are only going to be allowed to look at that other passengers on the flight.

I was speaking with my best friend who lives in Chicago (that Toddlin' Town) and he flies just about every week. Now I have almost a million miles flying myself, but I will not fly anymore. (It was a personal decision made many years before 9-11. Oh, I suppose IF there was someplace I really wanted to go to and the only reasonable way to get there was to fly, I probably will.)

Anyway, my buddy tells me how the TSA is now the Keystone Cops of this century. They'll strip search granny and disembowel little Suzie's "Betsy Wetsy," but they won't profile the people they really should be.
Which brings us to the resourceful lad who had 80 grams of explosives in his tighty whiteys. (Truth be told, I am willing to bet after he thought about what was next to his johnson, they weren't all that white.) Anyway, this guy has explosives in his underwear. This AFTER his father reported him to US authorities because of his "radical" Muslim beliefs. This is the shocking part.
Also as shocking as this guy having explosives in his pants is the fact that I can go onto the internet and download images of underwear!

If these guys are going to die for the cause and get 72 virgins when they get to heaven, don't you think they are going to need to have that piece of equipment in one piece when they get there?

Why are we not targeting these people especially after a relative contacts the "authorities" and tells them "Hey, you might want to check this guy out."

We need to be more like EL AL

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See at EL AL, you arrive THREE HOURS before your flight. You are questioned not once, not twice, but three times. They have TRAINED security people who can spot someone who is nervous, who is lying and they won't let you on the plane until they are convinced that you are not a terrorist. They P R O F I L E and you know what? IT WORKS!

If we had real professionals who were trained by EL AL, we wouldn't have to worry about terrorist getting on the plane and we wouldn't have to strip search granny.

"SMALL STUFF"

There is NOTHING Honest or OPEN about this government.

From the EYE of CBS News:

Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, responded Tuesday to widespread criticism that Democrats only garnered the 60 votes needed to defeat Republican stalling tactics on the health reform bill by catering to self-interest, saying Democrats are focusing on the big picture; "trying to cross a demarcation line."

Harkin dismissed deals dubbed vote-buying by GOP senators as "small stuff" that distracted Americans from the primary focus of the overhaul bill.

"We have to keep our eyes on what we're trying to do here. We're trying to cross a demarcation line," Harkin told "Early Show" co-anchor Maggie Rodriguez. "On one side is health care as a privilege, on the other side is health care as a right. With these votes, with the vote that we'll take before Christmas, we will cross that line finally and say that health care is a right of all Americans."

Asked by Rodriguez whether that meant he would still support the bill if all the bonuses for Iowa were stripped out of it, Harkin responded without hesitation: "Absolutely. Without a doubt."

"The principle of this bill overrides everything; that we're going to increase the number of people who are covered by insurance, we're going to increase affordable care, we're going to crack down on abuses by insurance companies."

"We have more in this bill now for prevention and wellness than any bill that's ever passed the Congress," added Harkin.

The senator also predicted that while a public option was unlikely to work its way back into the current health reform legislation during reconciliation between the House and Senate bills, it would be back.

"I am a strong supporter of a public option, I remain so, and I believe that sometime in the near future we will revisit that issue again and we will adopt a public option."

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Small Stuff eh?

If this is so needed that you have to come into the office on Christmas Eve and if so many people need this, why doesn't it take affect until 2014?

If this is so good for the American people, why don't you and your colleagues have to have the same policy and coverage?

If it is illegal to take money as a Disc Jockey to play a certain record, why is it not illegal for a member of Congress to take money (In ANY form, personally or for pet projects) to vote a certain way? Payola is Payola!

If this is so good, why are over 60% of American's against it?

I honestly believe that this vote will resonate with the American people and will be the catalyst for many senators and congressmen to loose their seat in 2010.

I also believe that this bill will be brought before the Supreme Court and will be declared Unconstitutional on several grounds.

I have been saying for months, if not years, the system is not broke to the point where it needs to be completely gutted and rebuilt from scratch.

I would LOVE to know what YOU think. Write me at antimacyapper@gmail.com

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SHAMEFUL, SHAMELESS AND EMPTY

FROM THE AP:

ATLANTA (AP) - Former President Jimmy Carter apologized for any words or deeds that may have upset the Jewish community in an open letter meant to improve an often-tense relationship.

He said he was offering an Al Het, a prayer said on Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. It signifies a plea for forgiveness.

"We must not permit criticisms for improvement to stigmatize Israel," Carter said in the letter, which was first sent to JTA, a wire service for Jewish newspapers, and provided Wednesday to The Associated Press. "As I would have noted at Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, but which is appropriate at any time of the year, I offer an Al Het for any words or deeds of mine that may have done so."

Carter, who during his presidency brokered the first Israeli-Arab peace treaty, outraged many Jews with his 2006 book "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid." Critics contend he unfairly compared Israeli treatment of Arabs in the West Bank and Gaza to the legalized racial oppression that once existed in South Africa.

Israeli leaders have also shunned him over his journey to Gaza to meet with Hamas, considered a terror group by the U.S., the European Union and Israel.

Carter's apology was welcomed by Abraham Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League and a vocal critic of Carter's views on Israel.

"When a former president reaches out to the Jewish community and asks for forgiveness, it's incumbent of us to accept it," he said in a telephone interview from Jerusalem. "To what extent this is an epiphany, only time will tell. There certainly was a lot of hurt, a lot of angry words that need to be repaired. But this is a good start."

The American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee could not immediately be reached for comment.

The letter comes weeks after his grandson, Jason Carter, said he would run for a Georgia state Senate seat being vacated by President Barack Obama's nominee to be U.S. ambassador to Singapore. If David Adelman is confirmed as ambassador in January, Jason Carter will be a candidate in a March special election in the northeast Atlanta district.

Jason Carter, who is running in a district with a vocal Jewish population, said in a statement that his grandfather's letter was unrelated to his campaign and hailed the apology as a "great step towards reconciliation."

President Carter's letter said he hopes bloodshed and hatred will yield to mutual respect and cooperation between Israel and its neighbors. The Nobel Peace Prize laureate has long said bringing peace to the Middle East remains one of his unfulfilled goals.

In a recent appearance at Emory University, he said if he had one more day as president he would use it to bring the "full weight of the White House" to the peace process.

"That's what I'd do with my one day in the White House," he said. "Bring peace to Israel and its neighbors."

As I have said many times, I use to have the utmost respect for the former President, even though I disagreed with many if not all of his political positions. In recent years, I have lost whatever respect I had because of his anti-Semitic rhetoric and his stance towards Israel.

You can spin it anyway you want, but if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, guess what? IT'S A DUCK!

The ONLY reason Jimmy is apologizing now is because his grandson is running for Congress and his district has a lot of Jewish constituents who vote!

It's shallow, hollow and shameless! Typical liberal.

Christmas 2009

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

May God bless you and your family and may you have a safe, healthy and God filled Christmas.

Christmas Eve 2009

Eight-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon wrote a letter to the editor of New York's Sun, and the quick response was printed as an unsigned editorial Sept. 21, 1897. The work of veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church has since become history's most reprinted newspaper editorial, appearing in part or whole in dozens of languages in books, movies, and other editorials, and on posters and stamps.

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.

"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.

"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'

"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.

"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

2010 Predictions Using My Crystal Ball

Around Here We Say:

M E R R Y CH R I S T M A S

USING MY PSYCHIC POWERS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF MANKIND!

Well, hey there, Hi there Ho there! Everybody around this time of the year make predictions for the New Year, why should I be any different. There are some that make "Serious" predictions, some that make "Light" predictions......Me? I do BOTH.

Let's start with the Serious Predictions:

* Unemployment will top 13% by next summer.

* Inflation will start to show it's ugly head and by summer will be around 10%.

* The Stock Market will rebound, then drop significantly by the summer months.

* By the summer, interest rates will be over 10%.

* Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer and Arlen Specter will loose their Senate seats.

* The Republicans will win back the House and control it 229-206.

* The democrats will control the Senate 51-49.

* Barrack Obama's favorable rating will be 39% by the November 2010 election.

* Iran will launch an attack on Israel and the US will have a tepid response.

* There will be a scandal and then a shake up of administration officials.

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Light Hearted Predictions:

* Tiger Woods will compete in two events in 2010 and retire from golf after

throwing a 2 iron at a fan who yelled; "Hey Tiger, Who's putting a Tiger in Elin's

tank now?"

* Tiger Woods will pay $2 Million to the fan he threw the afore mentioned 2 Iron at.

* David Letterman will rehabilitate his image by becoming the new face of

"DEPENDS DIAPERS" and will join Florence Henderson in promoting the

"NEW SUPER POLYGRIP."

* Oral Roberts and Jerry Falwell will NOT rise from the dead in 2010.

* Chris Matthews will find out that the "tingle" going up his leg was Keith Olbermann's hand.

* MSNBC's Keith Olbermann will beat out HGTV's "House Hunter's

International" during the 3AM time slot, but loose to "Cool Tools"

during the 3:30 AM time slot.

* In trying to lure younger viewers, MSNBC will introduce a "Tickle Me Chris

Doll" to compete with "Tickle Me Elmo."

* Three tourist at the Capital will be injured when Nancy Pelosi's eyes pop

out following a Botox treatment that goes horribly wrong.

* Arlen Specter will die from injuries suffered when he is pelted with 348,978 tea bags.

* Bill Belichick will stun the NFL when he announces he is retiring to open

"Bill's Camera Emporium."

* Diane Sawyer and Katie Couric will quit their lucrative ancor new anchor

jobs and open a brothel in Nevada called "Anchor Aweigh."

* Al Gore will ask Tom Silva for help changing light bulbs on "Ask This Old House."

* Hillary Clinton will find Barrack Obama's birth certificate with some

"Misplaced" billing records from the Rose Law Firm.

* Oprah will be revealed as woman #336 in the Tiger Woods saga.

* Oprah will be romantically linked to "Pop N Fresh," the Pillsbury

Doughboy.

* Michelle Obama's garden will be invaded and then destroyed by the

gopher from Caddyshack.

* In a shocking scenario, the Pittsburgh Pirates will win 82 games. (Nah, will never happen)

* It will be revealed that Oprah is Robert Byrd's "Lovechild."

It is my hope that you and your have a safe, healthy and Merry Christmas. I will publish a special edition of this column on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I will resume full-time publishing the following week.

Give The Gift This Year

AROUND HERE WE SAY:

MERRY CHRISTMAS

It's no secret that some of our brothers and sisters are hurting this year. Many have been laid off or have lost their job permanently because of the economy. We can discuss for hours the cause of the financial mess, but that is not the point of this column.

Traditionally, Conservatives give the most to charities. Why that is, well that's another discussion for another day. The point is that throughout the years, Conservatives are the "go to" people when charities need help.

I personally know a family who is for the most part conservative. Their young son goes to a parochial school and they try and do the right thing and instill those values on their children.

The boy came home from school the other day and announced that he had won $100 in a school raffle. Apparently, the 7th and 8th graders were trying to finance their spring trip and were raffling off a signed Pittsburgh Penguin jersey. In addition to the jersey, the second prize was $100. The father had bought a ticket for the boy for the jersey, expecting that it would end up as a donation to the Junior High students.

Anyway, when their son came home with the $100 the whole family sat down and discussed what they should do with the money. Naturally the boy was excited about the money and if you were able to get into his mind, you would see that he had visions of video games dancing in his head. The mother and father could have used the money, but both felt a sense of "duty" to use the money for something good and worth wild. The also wanted to impress upon their son that this was a chance to help someone.

They wrote a letter to the principal saying that while they could use the money, they knew there were other families out there struggling during this holiday season. They wanted to donate the money anonymously to a family within the parish community that could use their help. They didn't want to know the name of the family, they just wanted to know that it went to someone in need.
It turned out that their parish had a local St Vincent De Paul Society that currently had about 15 families they were working with and that their donation would help to put food on the table of a family and even buy a couple of Christmas presents for some children. They gave the money knowing that because of their good fortune, someone who have just a little brighter of a holiday and hopefully will realize the reason for the season.

This family did not want thanks or accolades, they just wanted to do the right thing and help their fellow man. They were trying to follow the teaching of their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Now it does not matter if you are Catholic, Jewish, Protestant or even an Atheist, people out there are struggling and it is not all their fault. You don't have to give to a religious organization, there are plenty of secular charities out there helping people. It is important that we all help our fellow man.

I know times are tough. We are all hurting in some way. Maybe you have lost some money in the stock market, maybe your retirement fund is down, but if you have a steady job and your healthy is relatively good, this is a chance for you to give thanks in your own way. It doesn't have to be a lot, maybe $25 or if you can afford it, $50. You would be surprised how far and how many people you can reach with just a small donation.

I have made my donation, won't you please consider making yours?

Merry Christmas.

COOL YOUR JETS EDITION

Around here we say:

Merry Christmas

Well all the "Chicken Littles" are in Copenhagen discussing "climate change." It's not "Global Warming" anymore, it's climate change.

In the 70's it was Global Cooling, then Global Warming, my head is hurting, call it climate change, I like that.

Al Gore and his G-5 are there, as are many members of the house and senate. The good news is while they are there, they can't screw health care, or anything else up! What is really funny is that all of these "Global Warmers" are flying there in private planes, using over 1200 limos and 3 "green" electric cars. The "Carbon" footprint is off the chart and like the democrats here, they are fighting amongst themselves!
The "Guru" of the left and all this nonsense, Al Gore issued yet another direr warning. According to the Nobel Peace Prize winning former Vice President and the single largest consumer of electricity in the United States, the polar ice caps will melt in less than 8 years IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!

START THAT DOOMSDAY CLOCK!
But wait! Didn't we do this about 20 years ago? Ted Danson started the "Doomsday Clock" and proclaimed that we have 10 years left!

"Ding, Fries Are Done!"

Now, I don't hold a PHD in Science, (come to think of it, neither does Danson or Gore) but I am smart enough to know that if you started a clock in 1980 and you said the world would end in 10 years and it is now 2009.....SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT!

The guy walking the streets with the sandwich board that says, "REPENT, THE END IS NEAR" has more creditability than any of these trick or treaters.
Before you bow at the altar of his holiness Al, I want to say this in a respectful and thoughtful manner, so that everyone will understand what I am about to say:

GLOBAL WARMING/CLIMATE CHANGE, IS THE BIGGEST FRAUD EVER PERPETRATED!

Al Gore's book and movie are full of lies and misinformation. They are not based on facts.

THE EARTH DOES NOT HAVE A FEVER. IT DOESN'T HAVE A COLD OR A COUGH.

We are finding out now what many believed all along, the books were cooked, the data was doctored, altered, made up!

The "scientist" altered data to come out the way they wanted it to.

Leading scientist who have "doubts" about Global Warming are denied the right to speak out, or publish their findings in scientific journals.

Answer me this and I will give you everything I own. The earth has been here for MILLIONS of years. There have been ice ages and "hot" periods. Volcanos have exploded, glaciers have formed and melted. How, in less than 150 years (out of MILLIONS) HOW, IN LESS THAN 150 YEARS, COULD MAN HAVE DESTROYED THIS PLANET? After all this planet has been through, the changes it has gone through, the sulfur and toxins that have been on this earth for MILLIONS of years DID NOT DO ANYTHING TO END THE EARTH. How can you look someone (me in this case) in the eye with a straight face and tell me that man did this? Come on, convince me, show me REAL scientific data and you can have it all. I'm safe because you can't convince me, you have NO data, you have NO scientific fact!

What's this all about?

Get ready, you may not believe this.

MONEY!

It is all about the greenback. Al Gore has a company that will "sell" you a "Carbon Off-Set." What is a Carbon Off-Set you may ask? Let me 'splain it to you Lucy. Let's say the arbitrary number they pick for your Carbon Footprint is: 80. Let's say that with your big honkin' SUV, the G-5 you fly, the electricity you use, your actual Carbon Footprint is 100. You can BUY 20 Carbon Off-Sets for $5,000 a piece from Al, or maybe a third world country will sell them to you for $3,500 a piece. You pay the money and you feel a whole lot better.

But where does the money go you ask?

Supposedly, they will plant a tree to off-set the carbon released into the air. The rest goes into the seller's bank account. Pretty nice scam huh?

It gets better. Once you have all the believers, you get the non-believers with taxes and you spread the wealth around. (Didn't I hear that some place before?)

I believe that we should respect the planet and as the Boy Scouts preach, we Leave No Trace. You go hiking in the woods, or camp near a stream, you leave the area better than you found it. Yes, we should keep our waterways clean and the air we breath pollution free. If you want to drive a Hybrid, knock your self out. We need to look for Alternative forms of energy and in the mean time, we should become energy self dependent. Use what we have while we develop alternative fuels.

BUT, the whole "climate change" stuff :

IT IS A HOAX, A LIE!

If you believe its real, YOU my friend need specialized care.

If Al gore wants to save the world, he can start at home by turning out the lights.