Dear God:Boy are you awesome! Talk about having the power to move mountains. Anyone who didn't believe in you before February surely HAS to believe in you now!
When you first started the snow it was beautiful. The snow on the branches and bushes made it look like a winter wonderland, something that you see in a fine painting or postcard. Words could not describe how beautiful it was.
Three feet was unbelievable! I hadn't seen that much snow in such a long time and it is something that my 10 year old will remember for the rest of his life. When we HAD to drive through some city neighborhoods, he got a big kick seeing all the chairs used to save dug out parking spaces.
It was fun for the kids, fun to watch them romp in the snow that was up to the 10 year old's hips and up to the neck of the 3 year old. We took pictures, made snowmen, snow forts and just had a good time. Yeah I trashed two snow blowers trying to clear the driveway and sidewalk, but it was nice.
The icicles hanging from the second floor are so beautiful the way they shimmer in the sun light.
Then, to show us that you really do have a sense of humor, within three days, you sent us another foot! That was a good one. Thanks for holding off until I got the 5hp snow thrower working, I really appreciated the favor and once again, I owe you.
The kids didn't have school for a week and one of the make-up days is Good Friday, I hope you don't mind that. While it wasn't my choice, seams the secular school district didn't really care about that day.
I lay awake at night jumping up at every creak I now hear, fearing that my back porch is going to fall two stories into the yard because of all the snow that is on the roof. You know that saftey cover I put on the cement pond to keep the kids and animals safe? Well, it has a screen in the middle to allow whatever snow we get to fill the pool so that I don't have to stick a hose in it and run up my water bill. The pool is only 18' x 36', but I have enough snow on it that when it melts, it will fill an olympic size pool.
Today I tried to move around another 6 inches of snow while the kids had a two hour delay.
Here's the problem Lord, I have over four and a half feet of snow in my yard. I have only been able to clear 21" (the width of the snow thrower) of my sidewalk. My double driveway is only clear about 3/4 of the normal width because I HAVE NO WHERE TO PUT THE SNOW! As fast as I blow it off the driveway, the side walls collapse and put it back in the driveway. Add to the fact that I have about 3 inches of ice at the front of the garage door from those sweet looking icicles hanging from the gutters.
Lord, I get the fact that there is NOTHING we as humans can do to control the weather. I know that we must be responsible in the way we take care of the earth you gave us and I am trying everything in my power to shut Al Gore up. You alone are the only one who has the power and there are millions of us who already knew that and I am sure there are now millions more who now realize that.
Lord, please turn off the snow. We really have had enough. We are not like Buffalo who knows what to do with all this snow. We never set our river on fire like Cleveland did and we don't have the fruits and nuts that California, Oregon and Washington have, so please stop the snow.
I humbly ask that you hear and answer my request so that we can try and get back to normal.
If it helps, I'll gladly write another column trashing Al Gore.
Sincerely yours,
The Anti-Macyapper.
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