RANDOM CLOWNS EDITION

This edition is dedicated to the clowns and the people who love them!

Public Service Announcement:

This a not a test, this is an actual emergency!

Missing: One Gold platted casket. Last seen at the Staple Center in Los Angeles California. Has not been seen or heard from since Tuesday. Owner needs to be buried so that millions of people can get back to their lives and maybe even start looking for work. If seen, please bury IMMEDIATELY! Please mark spot where buried so family can charge public for the right to worship at the site.

Where in the world is Matt Lauer?

Each year, NBC on their morning show called TODAY runs a segment called "Where in the world is Matt Lauer." Matt flys all over the world giving clues of where he is. A cheesy take off of the children's game, "Where's Waldo." A new version is now out and it's called simply, "Where's Michael and who cares?" You get a map of California and you guess where Michael Jackson's body is.

Can we please just bury the guy? Bury the guy, set up the fences and admission booths and let the morons spend their money to cry at his grave site. Set up the booths with dolls, shirts, books, posters and mouse pads and get on with it. Just bury the guy and put us all out of our misery!

From the LA Times: "Michael Jackson is being buried in a $25,000 Gold plated casket, the same one used by his idol James Brown."

What, James isn't using it anymore?

As if this hasn't been weird all ready. There was a report about MJ beloved chimp "Bubbles." You remember Bubbles? Well, apparently Bubbles got to be too freaking big for MJ to handle, so he sent her/him/it to a preserve in Florida. I know this because I saw a five minute segment on CNN. Anyway, Bubbles has been living there for 26 years and hasn't seen MJ in years. That's not the weird part! They are not going to tell Bubbles that MJ has died because Bubbles as noted hasn't seen MJ in years and they don't want to bring back any sad memories for the chimp! Oh NO! Not Chimp Abuse too!

Has anyone found that casket yet? PLEASE FIND IT.

Nice to see Magic Johnson again. Wasn't he suppose to die like 20 years ago with aids? He is magic! It's a medical miracle! Why aren't we like cloning his DNA and injecting it into people with aids? He's a walking, talking, breathing testament to medical science!

Again, the casket was last seen heading NORTH on the 101. It needs to be found! Why hasn't a missing person report been filed? We need to end this! For the sake of humanity, please find this body and bury it.

We now return you to normal programing.