Christmas Gift List 2009

Around here, we say:

Merry Christmas

My kids know this, but you probably don't. I have a direct pipeline to Santa. (How and why is not your concern) They get e-mails through-out the year from him, praising them when they have been good and of course reminding them when they have not.

Since I have this direct pipeline, I am able to "snoop" around his office and I came across some interesting letters, from some people you wouldn't think believed in Santa. Without his permission (put me on that naughty list) I have compiled some just for you.
Harry Reid wants 60 votes and 60 points in the polls.

Barney Frank wants a book on Botany.

Tiger Woods wants that phone number of the blonde down the street.

Elin Woods wants the number of a good divorce lawyer.

Ted Kennedy wants a five gallon jug of ICE COLD Polar Water.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry want BOTOX.

Barbara Boxer wants a name tag that says SENATOR.

David Letterman wants an audience.

Al Gore and Joe Biden both want a brain.

John McCain wants a two year rematch.

Timothy Geithner wants a gift card to H&R Block.

Tiger Woods wants the redhead he saw in the hospital WR.

Jimmy Carter wants nothing this year now that he is officially the 2ND worse President ever!

General McChrystal wants Barrack Obama to listen to him.

Patrick Kennedy wants Communion.

Keith Olbermann wants a brain, a heart, some common sense and a Bill O'Reilly doll.

Tiger Woods wants the brunette he saw at the gas station.

Oprah wants knee pads for her next interview with Barrack Obama.

Fox News wants an interview with Barrack Obama.

Tiger Woods wants that other redhead he saw washing the car in her driveway.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed wants a public trail and the Infidel Santa to be killed.

Al Franken (see Al Gore and Joe Biden)

Joe Lieberman just wants to be loved.

Tiger Woods wants that blonde he saw on the 16th tee from his bathroom window.

Michael Steele wants some gonads.

Barrack Obama wants to be named Emperor.

Tiger Woods wants out of the house to work on his naughty list.

Bill Clinton wants to hang around with Tiger Woods.

George Bush got his present early on January 20th.

Tiger and Bill's new joint venture.