DRINKING & FLYING EDITION

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

W.C.Fields

Hello all you groovy freaks, peace, love, dove to all. Meet Senator Max Baucus from the great state of Montana. He's pictured here with his vodka tonic and what looks to be a coffee chaser. Apparently, Max was an understudy to the very late Ted Kennedy and has taken over the late senator's two favorite causes, health care and public intoxication.

Now to be fair, there are plenty of internet stories out there that old Max was drunk during the senate's "debate" over health care. There are just as many stories out there that Max wasn't drunk, that he slurs his words all the time. If you have 5 minutes and 39 seconds to waste, you be the judge.

Now here's the point. If Max was drunk during this "debate" and vote, then he should be at the very least censured by the senate if not impeached. Max is not up for re-election in 2010 and I am not sure how secure or un-secure Max's seat is, but if it's anything like Nelson's in Nebraska, he could be in some trouble in 2012 if he runs again.

IS THAT A BOMB IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

On Christmas day, a disgruntled Muslim tried to blow up a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit. (more on that later) BUT, rest assured that your TSA is on the job! Just ask the Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano.
Sec. Napolitano received a great deal of criticism in the media for stating in an interview with CNN's Candy Crowley that, "the system worked" with regard to an attempted terrorist attack on Northwest Airlines Flight 253 approaching Detroit, Michigan on Christmas Day 2009. She later went on NBC's Today Show and admitted to host Matt Lauer that the security system had indeed failed.

Because the security system failed (didn't fail in eight years of the evil George Bush) passengers are now going through some new asinine restrictions, such as not being allowed anything (even a book) on your lap during the last hour of a flight. You better hope that mother nature doesn't call during that last hour because you ain't allowed to use the potty either. Forget about doing any work during the last hour of the flight, apparently, you are only going to be allowed to look at that other passengers on the flight.

I was speaking with my best friend who lives in Chicago (that Toddlin' Town) and he flies just about every week. Now I have almost a million miles flying myself, but I will not fly anymore. (It was a personal decision made many years before 9-11. Oh, I suppose IF there was someplace I really wanted to go to and the only reasonable way to get there was to fly, I probably will.)

Anyway, my buddy tells me how the TSA is now the Keystone Cops of this century. They'll strip search granny and disembowel little Suzie's "Betsy Wetsy," but they won't profile the people they really should be.
Which brings us to the resourceful lad who had 80 grams of explosives in his tighty whiteys. (Truth be told, I am willing to bet after he thought about what was next to his johnson, they weren't all that white.) Anyway, this guy has explosives in his underwear. This AFTER his father reported him to US authorities because of his "radical" Muslim beliefs. This is the shocking part.
Also as shocking as this guy having explosives in his pants is the fact that I can go onto the internet and download images of underwear!

If these guys are going to die for the cause and get 72 virgins when they get to heaven, don't you think they are going to need to have that piece of equipment in one piece when they get there?

Why are we not targeting these people especially after a relative contacts the "authorities" and tells them "Hey, you might want to check this guy out."

We need to be more like EL AL

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See at EL AL, you arrive THREE HOURS before your flight. You are questioned not once, not twice, but three times. They have TRAINED security people who can spot someone who is nervous, who is lying and they won't let you on the plane until they are convinced that you are not a terrorist. They P R O F I L E and you know what? IT WORKS!

If we had real professionals who were trained by EL AL, we wouldn't have to worry about terrorist getting on the plane and we wouldn't have to strip search granny.